Ok, basically this is a shot of everyone current in the frame for the Emmerdale storyline about the non-fatal shooting of the village’s most hated dude. Frankly I feel the quality of murder has gone down in the village recently, it used to be quite the cottage industry. That’s irrelevant though, what I want to know is why Lawrence’s head is so big. Look at it, it is huge. He is like the Tellytubby Sun Baby looming over everyone with that!
Red – Lawrence, the Lord of the Manor, father of a woman that fired an oil drum at a small plane, grandfather of a rapist. He’s bisexual, but is currently marrying the village beautician, Bernice.
Yellow – Robert Sugden. He is married to Lawrence’s daughter, has killed one person, hired an assassin (although he called that off), and tried to drown the local vet in grain – yet is still the second most murderous if his siblings. He is bisexual, and having an affair with…
Blue – Aaron, A Dingle by blood, if not in name, Aaron is gay and has banged two of the three Sugden siblings. You couldn’t call him gay, because the old association of the word with happiness just makes it sad in this case, but he is homosexual. Currently under suspicion of shooting his boyfriend, because he has shitty taste in boyfriends