So, here’s a list of toilet related things that happened when I worked in one particular place:
- A desperate hunt for a female member of staff to go into the ladies and ask the two women making love on the floor to take it home, or at least into a stall, because no-one wanted to step over them on the way to the loo.
- A bag of drugs someone left behind in the stall that got (sorry, whoever the dude was) flushed down the bogs after a lot of panic on Monday morning.
- A conversation overheard in the loos in which the following words were spoken, ‘I’ve not got clap. If he wants I’ll not wear knickers next time I visit the prison and he can look up it like a f’ing telescope.’
- A pigeon that got into the water tank in the summer that had been there long enough to dissolve into a sort of ‘pigeon soup’ and that we DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT fill up the kettles in the bathroom anymore.
- The discovery that if ‘someone’ flushes coffee grounds down the loo because it seemed like a good idea at the time (the sink didn’t drain), the next person to go in there gets a horrible surprise and a bit of a medical scare.